Goal Setting and “Failing”
Everyone at one time or another has set a goal, be it career related, health related, or life related.
Goal setting is also an intrinsic and vital part of physiotherapy - for every single person who comes in our doors, we want to know what drives you, and where we are headed to make sure our treatment approach is tailored to your own unique situation. Goals help give us direction, motivation and allow us to move towards living our best life (however that might look).
But sometimes despite our best efforts and planning, there may be instances where we “fail”. This can be a difficult thing for people, and in my experience working with people who have pain, it can happen a lot. Working in the clinic, I hear a lot from people that they struggle to set goals because they are scared of “getting their hopes up” and then not reaching them.
We shouldn’t be scared of failing - and I’d argue that quite often we shouldn’t see it as failing at all.
Our goals don’t sit in isolation. So often we need to juggle many different balls at once - work, home life, family, emotional load, other commitments. It’s important and necessary to recognise that we need to have the flexibility to ebb and flow with life, and prioritise different things at different times. Feeling guilty or like we’ve failed for not sticking completely to our initial plan is often unhelpful and not conducive to long term success. If we make progress an “all or nothing”, it means when we do slip, it’s easy to lose motivation and fall off the wagon completely.
Progress is a rollercoaster, and almost never a straight path upwards. A couple of missed exercise sessions, or a few cheat meals here and there won’t make much of a difference over 3 or 6 months. Dropping off the plan completely out of frustration or guilt over them will!
Instead, we can use these speed bumps as an opportunity to reflect and problem solve. In doing so, we are in a better position to continue on and make long term change. Asking a few key questions can help:
Why has this happened? Are you struggling to fit in your daily actions due to time constraints? Are you missing motivation or forgetting about your exercises? Or have you had a week off because you’ve been unwell and needed to prioritise recovery? Identifying the reasons, and then problem solving these (where necessary) or having some self compassion can be a really valuable tool in making future progress.
Is there something that can be changed to make it easier or more feasible to make progress towards your goals? Is exercising at home more reliable than you getting to the gym? Can we set reminders or tie our daily actions into existing routines? Can we focus on the “one big thing” that gives us the most bang for our buck, rather than focusing on getting everything perfect?
Is the goal actually important to you? This is possibly the most important question. We are most likely to achieve our goals if they are meaningful to us. Is this goal still the most relevant and important to you, or do we consider changing the focus of the goal? Is your goal SMART (google it - it’s so helpful!). We could also consider process-based goals, rather than outcome based goals - e.g. rather than losing a certain amount of weight, setting a goal related to habits or processes that will likely lead to that outcome, for example exercising a certain number of times per week.
Above all, remember - almost every great discovery or achievement in human history was on the back of countless failures. We need to normalise failure, remove the guilt and shame, and instead focus on using it as an opportunity for growth and self reflection.
Soph Shephard